Fairy Tales in Soul Society
by 7dragons7
Summary: Once a month the First Division has a tea party. This one time the other captains were allowed to join to tell stories. The other captains starred at the captain commander warily. Really? Pairing may vary depending on the fairy tales.
1. Tea in the First Division

A/N

Seeing as how my Aizen in Oz and Ichigo in Wonderland has done very well I decided to take on all the fairytales. In one crack filled story. This is just the intro of how this insanity came to be. The Fairytales start next chapter. Still I laughed the whole time writing this chapter. Please enjoy.

Chapter One- Tea in the First Division

Everyone knew that once a month the first division would have a tea party. Head Captain Yamamoto loved his tea. So he would throw a tea party for his whole division. No one but members of the first division were allowed. No exceptions. While some of the other captains were some what curious, no one really wanted to have tea with the head commander.

Ukitake and Shunsui would occasionally grumble that old man Yama never threw them tea parties. And Aizen would ask, anyone who would listen, what kind of tea the first division captain made. Byakuya wanted to see what kind of china and décor was inside. But no one ever really wanted to go.

So by some chance they found themselves, captain and lieutenant alike in the first division. Sitting at a big table. Even numbered captain's to the left, odd to the right. Yamamoto's empty seat in the middle. The lieutenants kneeling behind their captains. The whole first division was sitting at small tables in front of them. The captain commander and his lieutenant no where to be seen at the moment.

All at once all twelve captain's leaned in to talk. Their lieutenants doing the same so they could listen.

"What in the world is going on?" demanded Soi Fon. "I have things to do today," Unohana nodded in polite agreement beside her. Byakuya was eyeing the room. Ichimaru shifted uncomfortably next to Aizen. Displeased that he was going to have to sit beside the head captain.

Aizen adjusted his glasses. "Seems we have been invited to the first division tea party."

"Wow Sousuke! Did you figure that out all on your own?" snarled Soi Fon. "You're a freaking genius." Aizen held his head up high, not going to give her the satisfaction of a reply.

Kenpachi sighed bored.

Mayuri scratched the table with his overly long nail.

Toshiro yawned sleepily.

"This beats paperwork, eh, Izuru?" asked Gin stretching cat like, his spine cracking loudly in several places. Making several people in the room flinch. He smiled wider getting the desired reaction.

"I guess so," the blonde said eyeing his captain's back with a worried expression.

"Gin, that was gross," Rangiku sighed from the other side of the table.

The seconds ticked by. The clock chimed six and the captain commander entered his lieutenant following him. He took his seat in the middle. "Let us begin," he stated.

Several members of the first squad began to place cups down in front of the captains and to fellow members of the squad. Tea pots and other necessities were set in place. Honey sugar and other things one might need.

Soon enough the tea was poured. The captain's waited until Yamamoto had sipped his tea before they sipped their own.

It was at that moment when many questions that had been asked over the years had been put to rest.

Ukitake and Kyoraku exchanged glances. They were glad that up until now they had never had a tea party with the head captain. It was awkward. As Aizen choked on the tea he now knew that it was by far the worst tea he had ever had. And Byakuya decided after struggling to swallow the tea in front of him, that the décor was tacky at best and the china mediocre.

Hinamori patter her captain on the back, her eyes filled with worry.

"You can't breath and drink at the same time, Sousuke-kun," chuckled Ukitake weakly, helping to cover the fact of why the man was really choking.

Aizen nodded setting the cup down. Other's were not as subtle at showing their dislike for the tea. Gin flat on gagging on it next to captain commander. And Kenpachi none to quietly asking; "What the hell is this crap?"

Unohana caught Soi Fon spitting the tea back into her cup, discreetly.

Izuru quickly reached out to the table and pulled a sugar bowl towards his captain. "I know your not found of tea, sir," he said a little louder than one should, but he was doing it so the commander would hear. So he would know that Gin acted like this around all tea, not just his. Even if that was not entirely true. "You'll like it better with sugar," Squinted eyes eyed the bowl of sweet cubes.

Aizen watched somewhat amused and somewhat horrified as Gin was going on twenty some cubes of sugar and still going.

"I think that's enough," he laughed slightly.

"I just want it to be solid, so I can't drink it."

Aizen laughed weakly and moved the bowl to his other side taking a good amount of cubes while his hand was there and adding them to his own drink.

Some were even less subtle then Gin. Toshiro was thinking along the same lines as the silver haired captain. Just taking the bowl and dumping it into his cup. The boy didn't even like sweet things.

Tousen was a trooper drinking his tea the way it was. Unohana and Byakuya took turns taking spoonfuls of honey and adding it to their tea. It wouldn't look as bad if they took turns.

"So, Yama," sighed Shunsui after a few more pained moments. "you've never invited all of us to one of your tea parties. What's the occasion?"

The elder of the group cleared his throat. "I feel the captain's should be a little more unified. After all the only time we are all together is during meetings. A little bonding will do us some good."

"That's a good idea," agreed Ukitake. "Lot's of bonding happening here," There were a few glares sent his way.

Trays of cakes were set down in front of them. They looked good enough. A ripple of hesitation went throughout the table. Again, they waited for the head captain. He ate one no problem. Warily the rest of the captains reached for a pastrys.

Everyone regretted it.

"Eat this Nemu," Mayuri demanded handing her the cake with a single bite in it.

"Yes, Mayuri-sama,"

Kenpachi tossed his cake to Yachiru who was practically drooling at the sight of food. She ate it without complaint. Unohana politely used her napkin to hide the partially chewed food.

Another set of coughs from Aizen as he again had to choke something down his body did not want. Hinamori's eyes wide and fearful, wondering if her captain was going to make it through this tea party.

"Stories are in order here," Yamamoto insisted.

"Stories?" the captains asked in unison. Couldn't they just leave? Hadn't they suffered enough?

The head captain nodded. "Yes. Not just any stories, fairytales. I told the boys last month that I would gather up all the captains and we would tell stories."

"Just the captains?" asked Hisagi, hope ever so evident in his voice.

"We'll see. But for now, yes just the captains."

Matsumoto pointed at Gin and silently laughed at him. Mocking his predicament.

"To demonstrate what I want I will tell the first story." he said. The captain's looked at him warily. He cleared his throat. "I will tell the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."

Soi Fon face palmed. Unohana's smile was strained. Toshiro's head hit the table with a thud.

"But to make all these old tales a little more interesting I'll change some things. So it should really be called. Unohana Retsu and the Seven Captains."

"What?" the forth captain asked.

"Silence. I will tell the story."


	2. Unohana Retsu and the Seven Captains

Chapter Two- Unohana Retsu and the Seven Captains

They sat looks of dismay and wariness upon each of the captain's faces. The lieutenants had worried and amused expressions.

The head commander cleared his throat. "Let us begin then."

* * *

There once was a queen who longed to be the fairest on the land. She possessed a magical mirror that would answer her questions. But she only asked it one thing.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall whom is the fairest of them all?"

The glass would come to life in the form of a nervous looking face. "Y-You are my queen. You Queen Soi Fon are the most fairest of them all."

The woman smiled at the mirror happily.

However, Queen Soi Fon had a step daughter from her late husband. And as the days went on and on, the young princess grew more and more beautiful.

So on a day like any other the Queen went to her mirror. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"

M-My Queen, it is true that you are fair. But young princess Retsu is fairer than you." The mirror looked at her nervously. "Unohana Retsu is the fairest of them all."

"What," the queen hissed.

She would not stand for this. There could be no one in this world fairer than her. So she called her most trusted.

The Huntsman.

He bowed before her as she sat in her throne.

He was a rather large fellow with a big mask that covered his face. "My Queen. How can I serve you?"

"My loyal Komamura, I have a task I trust only you with." Her gray eyes narrowed at him. "I want you to take Princess Retsu deep into the woods and their I want you to cut out her heart." The Queen stood up from her throne and handed him a box. "And as proof that you have done the task I want you to put her heart in this box and bring it back to me."

The man looked up at her. His golden eyes peeking through the mask. "Kill the princess?"

"You can do this for me can't you?" she asked crossing her arms.

"Of course," the hunter said quickly.

Later that afternoon he took the princess deep into the woods.

"There are such wonderful flowers here." she said kneeling down to pick several.

The hunter approached her from behind. He raised his sword to stab her but paused. Her black hair was braided down her back. Her skin extra pale in contrast to the dark hair color.

He found himself unable to kill her.

"Good princess," he said getting on one knee.

She stood and turned around curious. "Yes, dear huntsmen."

"I have a confession. I was ordered to take you into this forest to kill you by order of the queen."

She gasped at this confession taking a few steps back.

"But I cannot kill you. So run young princess. Run as far and as fast as you can."

She nodded taking off into the forest. Not sure of where she should go but far away seemed as good a plan as any.

She ran and ran, at last coming upon a rather large home. She was very tired and hungry and hoped that maybe whoever lived here wouldn't mind letting her stay for a night or so.

She knocked politely on the door and there was no answer. She tried the handle and found it turned and the door opened. While she did know that it was rude to just enter the house with out permission but, this was a special circumstance.

She entered the house and found the living room, where there were seven sitting chairs. Inside the kitchen were seven chairs around the table. And seven cups and seven plates in the cabinet. And upstairs there were seven beds.

Seeing the beds she suddenly felt very tired. Without further thought she curled up in one of the beds and fell asleep.

Little did the princess know but seven people were on their way back. They entered their home exhausted after a hard days work.

The one with the glasses stopped. "There is something amiss here." he glanced back at the others. "There is something upstairs."

Quickly all seven hurried upstairs to see what kind of intruder. What they saw surprised them all. A girl. A girl was in one of their beds.

Their noisy entrance had woken her. She rubbed her eyes carefully and jumped slightly at the sight of all of them.

"Hello," she said quietly.

There were mumbled, hellos.

"Young girl," said a stern voice. "What are you doing in our home."

Quickly she told them all who she was and her story.

"Tha's so sad," said another. "Can we keep 'er?"

"She's not some pet you can just have,"

The one with glasses sighed. "Young princess, we will allow you to stay with us. However-"

"Oh I know. I can't stay for free. So I'll cook and clean and do anything you need me to," She hoped of the bed. "I'll make dinner right now." she hurried back down the stairs to begin cooking.

"Wait," the brunette said. "That's not what I was going to say."

The shortest one of them all sighed. "It's fine. Now we have a maid."

"But she's a princess. She shouldn't have to do these things."

There was no stopping the princess. She was just happy to have someplace to stay. "So what are all of your names?" she asked setting the table.

All seven men sat down at the table. "Well," said the one with glasses. "The silver haired one is Smiley," He gave her a wave his overly long sleeves hiding his hands. "Snobby has the raven colored hair." he gave her a light nod. "Drunky has the straw hat," he tipped his hat to the princess. "Blindy with the orange scarf, Icy has the spiky white hair. Crazy is the one with the pointed hair with bells. And I'm Aizy."

She smiled at all of them. Seven new friends.

She cooked all their meals. Cleaned their house while they were gone. Sewed up the tears in their white coats.

She didn't mind the work at all. In fact she rather enjoyed it. It kept her busy and it was always nice to see the happy faces of the men when they came home.

Smiley grabbed her hands after dinner one evening. "Ya are so wonderful!"

Aizy smiled slightly and took a seat at the piano in the living room. He played a merry tune, while Smiley laughed and danced with the princess.

Retsu laughed with him and soon Blindy had gotten a flute and was playing Aizy's tune. The others, save for Icy who just rolled his green blue eyes, joined in the festivities. Each taking a turn to dance with the lovely princess who had blessed their home.

Back in her castle Queen Soi Fon walked up to her mirror. "Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"

The face in the mirror appeared and looked hesitantly at her. "My queen you are fair that is for sure, but Unohana Retsu is still fairer all the more."

Soi Fon sneered at her mirror. "That can not be true. My huntsman killed her. I have her heart in this box,"

"A heart in a box that you have, but the heart of a deer was that your plan?"

She looked at the box in shock. "A deer?" She threw the wooden box against the wall. "I have been tricked!" She looked back at her mirror. "Where? Where is she?"

"Deep in the forest safe and sound. Powerful men guard her I have found."

The queen said nothing more. She turned on her heal heading deep into her castle.

They had really grown attached to her. They decided to do whatever they needed to keep her safe from that evil queen if she ever came looking for her. Nothing would harm their princess.

She had to say that she quite attached to the men as well. She saw them off every morning.

As always Aizy warned her to be careful. "Never let anyone in the house. And don't leave unless you have to. And keep the door locked."

"I know, I know." she said kindly. She fixed his hair as he spoke. Always in a mess. It was the same thing everyday. Redoing one of Crazy's bells, Retying Blindy's scarf, adjusting Smiley's coat, taking the bottle of sake away from Drunky, Redoing one one the clips in Snobby's hair and handing Icy his lunch that he always forgot.

Yes, it was the same thing say after day but she loved it.

One day a peddler came to her door step. The least she could do for the poor thing was offer the poor soul some food. She opened the door and stepped out side.

"I have some colorful sashes that would go wonderfully with your completion." the peddler said puller her hat down a little further.

"I would love to see them," Retsu said kindly.

The peddler pulled the colorful cloth out of her bag and handed them to the princess. At once the cloth came to life wrapping themselves around the princess. They tightened around her crushing her frame.

The peddler of course was Soi Fon in disguise she watched the princess struggle for breath for a few more moments. She turned her back on the dying princess and left. Soon she would be the fairest of them all.

"Scatter Senbonzakura," pink petals fly over the girl. The razor sharp petals cutting the cloth that was attempting to cut her life short.

"Retsu!" Aizy was at her side as soon as she was free. "She's still alive," a sigh of relief came from everyone.

That night she was of course scolded.

"Please be more careful," insisted Aizy.

"Of course. My apologies." she said sadly. She hated making them all worry over her.

The men were even more hesitant to leave her alone. She promised them she would be fine.

Evil queens would not be deterred. Soi Fon came back this time disguised as an old woman.

"What lovely raven hair you have." she said. Unohana had been outside watering the plants outside the house. "I have a beautiful clip that would go wonderfully with your hair."

She held out the comb. Known only to Soi Fon, the tips were poisoned. So when they would scrape against the skin the princess would be poisoned.

"That's kind of you." Unohana said kindly. "But I am content with what I have."

"Let me see you wearing it for a moment."

"Well,"

A small chiming of bells.

Crazy roaring like a mad man running right towards the queen. Quickly the Queen hurried away.

"Retsu." Snobby sighed appearing at her side.

"I know. I know." she said. "I am very sorry."

Soi Fon would not give up. She had one last idea.

"I'd rather not leave you alone anymore." sighed Aizy. He paced around the home.

"This time, I won't leave. You have my word."

The seven men looked at each other warily.

"Very well. But if anything else happens." Blindy said worry in his tone.

"I understand." she really did.

So half heartedly they left once more. The mourning ritual the same as always. Yet this time she decided to add a step.

As Aizy gave her the lecture she fixed his messy brunette hair. "I understand.' she said when he had finished. He turned to leave and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. His cheeks turned a dark shade of red and he stumbled out the door. Unable to say anything.

"Don't kiss me," warned Crazy as she fixed his bells.

She laughed. "Okay, another time then?"

"Whatever," he mumbled.

She gave Snobby a light kiss turning his pale cheeks pink. Icy fought it but she wasn't letting another one get away. Blindy mumbled an embarrassed thank you. Drunky returned the kiss giving one of his own on her cheek.

She shook her head getting over the shock of getting a retuning kiss. Her distraction gave another set of lips a chance to lock not onto her cheek but onto her own lips.

Smiley pulled away quickly. "Smooch." he laughed running out the door to join the others.

Her own cheeks a shade of pink now. Once more she shook her head clearing her head. There were chores to be done.

She cleaned and dusted and did the things she did while the men were away.

She paused in her work at the sound of someone knocking on her window. Hesitantly she pushed open the window. A woman with a basket full of red ripe apples stood there. Her hair in black curls.

"Can I help you?" asked Retsu.

"I was wondering if I could offer you some apples."

Unohana shook her head. "I'm afraid not."

The woman smiled at her. "Just one. These apples are of the very best quality. You'll never have another like it."

"Well," Unohana bit her lip. The boys would be mad at her if they found out. But the apple did look very delicious. So with only the slightest hesitation she took the apple from the woman's hand.

"Take a bite." the woman outside insisted.

Unohana slowly took a small bite. She dropped the apple. Her eyes were becoming heavy. Her body wouldn't stand on its own.

Queen Soi Fon leaned inside from the window to see the princess laying on the ground. She smiled happily. She undid the curls and retying her hair in braids. Once again she was the fairest of them all.

The seven men walked home. They were excited to see their princess. They had made plans while at work. Another music night. Maybe she would sing with them this time around.

But when they saw the house dark and the window opened all their happy plans disappeared into thin air. Quickly they ran into the house calling her name.

There she was laying on the ground. Aizy knelt beside her. Her skin cold. There was no rise in fall of her chest. No sound of a heartbeat.

The others watched him nervously.

He looked up at them sadly. "She's dead."

Smiley covered his face with his overly long sleeves. And Toshiro walked out of the house.

"I need a drink," mumbled Drunky and he headed upstairs.

Aizy held her lifeless body hoping that by some chance that their princess would wake up somehow.

But she didn't.

No one had the heart to burry her. It didn't seem right to have her beauty swallowed up by the earth. So Toshiro made a coffin of pure ice that could withstand the sun. Where they could see her always. And a reminder of how they couldn't protect her.

Time passed and one day a prince rode by and spotted the coffin of pure ice with the maiden of pure beauty inside it.

"Good gentleman," he called. He had hair of purest white and pale skin. He rode up to the seven men who were placing flowers around the coffin. "I am Prince Ukitake. I must insist that you let me have that coffin."

The men looked away from him.

Aizy shook his head. "I am afraid we can not do that. She is very precious to us. Even in death."

The pale prince nodded. "I understand. You obviously feel some guilt over the maidens death. Let me take this painful burden away from you. I will take excellent care of the maiden in the ice."

Again the declined.

It took many days of pleading before they finally gave in. The prince insisted that the princess should not be sealed away in the forest. But that everyone should be able to see her and say goodbye.

It was at these words that they gave in. The seven men watched sadly as the Prince had his men take away their princess.

It was a long way back to the prince's castle. "Careful with her," requested Ukitake. "I promised those men that I would take care of her."

He flinched when he heard a loud thud. With an annoyed sighed he turned his horse around to see what had happened.

The coffin had popped open and sitting up was the fair maiden spitting out a piece of apple.

Ukitake's brown eyes went wide. "You're alive!" he said happily. She nodded looking around.

"My dear princess, I insist you must marry me." he held out his hand.

She looked at him. Then around. "Where am I?"

"Everyone thought you were dead."

She took his out stretched hand and was pulled onto the back of his horse.

"Will you?" he asked.

"Sure. But my friend-."

"Will be of course told that you still live. Let us be off."

As she did everyday, Soi Fon walked up to her mirror.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?"

The face of the mirror appeared. "My dear queen you are indeed fair. But there is a queen elsewhere more fair than you."

"Another queen?" Soi Fon scowled. "Where is she? I will put an end to her."

Gathering the details she set out to the other kingdom where this queen lived.

There were many people here. In fact if she didn't know any better it was a wedding. So this other woman was not a queen yet. Soi Fon would make sure that she would not live long enough to be one, at least for very long.

She pushed open to the doors of the chapel and saw much to her dismay she saw none other than Unohana Retsu standing at the alter.

"You!" she shrieked. "Why are you still alive."

"Queen Soi Fon. You attacked the princess. Several different attempts on her life. Justice will be dealt out for your actions." Blindy spoke from behind her.

"As punishment for your deeds," said Aizy beside the princess. "You are to wear a heated pair of steel shoes. And you will dance for Unohana during her wedding. Dance until you can not dance anymore. Until you are dead."

And so she did.

But on the happier side the prince and the princess got married. The seven men said goodbye to her one last time. And Unohana Retsu lived happily ever after.

* * *

There was a silence after the story.

"Well," began Ukitake. "That was a fairly grim story."

"Why was I the evil queen?" demanded Soi Fon.

"Well certainly Unohana is not capable of being an evil queen." Yamamoto said simply.

The second captain's jaw dropped. "What about one of the lieutenants?"

The elder sipped his tea. "No. You were the best choice."

Soi Fon grinded her teeth together.

Unohana smiled kindly at the head commander. "May I ask why Captain Ukitake was the prince."

"Take it as a hint."

Ukitake burst into a fit off coughs.

Unohana smiled one of her kind but terrifying smiles and starred at her tea cup.

Shunsui chuckled. "There are better choices then Juu-chan." He lifted up his hat to look at the head captain.

"Hmm." the older man nodded. "Yes. I did consider Captain Aizen."

Gin used his sleeves to suppress his laughter.

"But there is a significant age difference."

Aizen looked down at the table. His only thoughts were not to make any kind of eye contact with the healing captain.

"I wouldn't say significant." she said stiffly.

The old man shook his head. "No there is."

Isane starred at her captain utterly terrified.

Shunsui quickly pulled his hat down. Knowing that if he caught looking or starring she would explode him, with her mind.

The silence was a bit suffocating. Gin's muffled giggling the only sound in the room.

"Captain Soi Fon." the head captain stated. "You are next."

"Me?" her voice still bitter

"Yes. What's your fairy tale?"

She bit her lip and thought quickly. "I suppose I'll do Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves."

"Good choice. But of course you must tell it like I did. So it should be called?"

"Oh." again she thought. The captains had suffered enough from that stupid Snow White story. Why should the lieutenants get of free? They shouldn't. She glanced back at her own. Picking his nose. She knew what part he would play. But for the main. Her eyes scanned the room. "It will be called, Hisagi Shūhei and the Forty Thieves.

The lietenuiant of the ninth cringed. He was sure after Soi Fon being the villain in the last story he was going to be the one to suffer in this story. He steeled himself ready for anything the angry captain might throw at him.


	3. Hisagi and the Forty Thieves

Chapter Three- Hisagi and the Forty Thieves

Hisagi and his brother lived a good life. Their father was a wealthy merchant and they were much better off then most. Well at least had a good life.

One day their father became ill and passed away. The elder brother Ōmaeda was a greedy man. He quickly claimed all of their fathers wealth and outcaste Hisagi from the business and the inheritance.

Hisagi did not panic or complain. Ōmaeda was the elder brother. So the younger brother set out to make some kind of living. He chopped wood in the forest to make a decent living.

One day a group of shady looking riders rode past him. Curious he followed them to a cave that was sealed. There a female voice called out; "Open Sesame," and the door to the cave opened. The men all rode in. Mesmerized Hisagi slowly made his way to the cave and said the words to open the cave. The words worked for him as well.

He carefully walked inside. The riders were not in sight. However what was there were mountains of gold that filled the chamber. Surly the men wouldn't know if a small amount of gold went missing? After all it was most likely all stolen anyway.

So he filled his pockets with gold and left the cave.

He made his way back home. Thankfully his brother still let him stay there, even if he wasn't allowed any of the inheritance. However his brothers wife was just as vain and selfish.

The woman spied on Hisagi. Where had he gotten all that gold? Ōmaeda's wife, Rangiku quickly ran to her husband to tell him of her findings.

The heavy set brother listened to his wife's findings and a smile quickly spread across his face. He cornered Hisagi.

"You ungrateful maggot! After all I've done for you! You've been holding out on me."

"But brother," Hisagi tried to explain. "You have all of our fathers inheritance."

"Where did you get the gold!" Ōmaeda demanded.

With a heavy heart the younger brother told him of the cave and the magic words to get in.

Without another thought the older brother ran out of the house to collect all the gold he could.

But Ōmaeda was a greedy man. And those kinds of hearts can be careless. He wasn't careful as Hisagi had been. He marched into the cave loudly laughing as stuffed coins into his pockets.

Of course he had been caught. The thieves killed him and chopped him into many pieces and left him in a pile at the door to the cave. As a warning for anyone else who would try and steal their gold.

Hisagi grew worried when his brother never returned. So Rangiku and a slave girl they had, Nemu, went to the cave to look for him. As they entered they saw his body.

The strawberry blonde covered her eyes and wept. Hisagi heartbroken at the loss of his brother grabbed a rug from the cave and he and Nemu placed the body pieces on it so they could take Ōmaeda home and give him a proper send off.

Rangiku did not want to burry him in pieces. It wouldn't be right. Hisagi agreed.

"My masters. I know of a tailor in town who can put anything back together. If you blindfold him no one will ever know what happened to the late master."

Agreeing that this was a good plan they set off to gather the tailor following Nemu's instructions.

His name was Izuru and he was a fine tailor. In one night he was able to put Hisagi's fallen brother back together.

* * *

The leader of the forty thieves looked at the bloodstained spot where a body had been. Someone else knew their secret. This could not be allowed. The pink haired leader led her band of thieves through the towns asking if anyone had seen anything suspicious.

One of the thieves, Nanao, found out that a tailor was seen leaving a home in the middle of the night. The thief realized that the tailor must have been stitching up the body. So she found the tailor who could only find the house blindfolded and followed him to the Hisagi's home. Smiling at a job well done he marked the door. That way they could find the house once everyone was there.

Their plan was for naught. The slave girl Nemu saw Nanao. She quickly marked the neighboring houses with a similar mark. That way the thieves would not be able to tell the houses apart.

That did work. The leader in her rage killed Nanao who had made this plan.

The next another thief tried again. The thief Renji decided to do what Nanao had tried. He found the blonde tailor who again led him to the house where he had stitched up the body. This time he did not make a mark, instead he took a chunk of the stone step in front of the house. Then they would come back to the house missing a stone step and kill everyone in the house.

But once again the thieves plans were for naught. Nemu again saw the thief and took chunks out of the neighbor's stone steps as well. When the thieves came back they were once again unable to tell the houses apart.

The leader killed Renji on the spot.

The leader would not have these failures again. She rode up to the house and memorized every inch of the house.

She rode back to the house earlier that morning and knocked on the door. She wore a hooded cloak so that no one would recognize her neighbors and towns people alike. She informed Hisagi that his late brother had ordered thirty-eight oil jars.

Hisagi looked behind the merchant and saw many camels with woven baskets on each side, with the said oil lamps. He thanked the merchant.

Of course inside the baskets were not oil lamps but the remaining thieves. Who would sneak out in the middle of the night and kill Hisagi and everyone in the house.

Nemu would not be fooled. She got to the thieves first and poured boiling hot oil in all of the baskets killing all of the thieves. She then disposed of the baskets.

Of course the leader learned of this and was outraged. All of her men were dead. She was determined to get her revenge.

* * *

Hisagi had taken over the family business now that his brother was gone. He had made friends with a female merchant who was eager to do business with him. He invited her over to his home to discuss final business arrangements. Their pink haired guest enjoyed a nice dinner with Hisagi. Nemu doing the serving. Hisagi talked on and on about the great business they could do in the future together.

"I see," said the pink haired guest reaching into her cloak for something. "Yes I can see us doing well in the future."

Nemu suddenly froze the plate in her hands dropping to the ground. With amazing speed a knife was in her hand.

It happened so fast. The pink haired girl was lunging towards Hisagi a knife in her hands. Nemu quickly was on her. Placing the knife through the heart of her master's attacker.

Hisagi sat frozen in shock. "Nemu what are-"

Nemu covered in the blood of the head thief got on her knees before her master. "I beg your forgiveness, my master. This was the head thief. For days they have been trying to kill you. But now there are no more. All of those men are dead now. You are safe again."

Hisagi patted her head. "Thank you for saving my life, Nemu." She looked up at him happily. "As a reward, I shall give you, your freedom."

Her dark green eyes grew wide. "No! I could never except that. I want to be here to serve you,"

Hisagi smiled at her loyalty. She had always been kind to him. "Then will you be my wife."

She looked up at him shocked. She nodded to happy for words.

* * *

Soi Fon finished her story and a silence followed it.

"That story sucked about as much as I thought it would," grunted Kenpachi.

"That's it?" whispered Momo to Kira who shrugged.

Ōmaeda looked outraged. "Captain!" he began. But a quick glare from Soi Fon silenced him.

Hisagi was happily surprised. Nothing bad happened to him and he got the girl. Even if that girl was Nemu. He would've liked to have gotten Ōmaeda's wife though. His eyes landed on the strawberry blonde who looked disgusted with the whole story.

"I feel sick," she said to her captain, who merely shrugged bored out of his mind.

"Tsk tsk." said Gin. "Ran-chan, I thought you had better-"

"Captain Ichimaru," Yamamoto began cutting off the silver haired captain. "It is your turn."

"Me?" he asked. He then began to look thoughtful.

Everyone looked warily at the smiling captain and then worried as his trademark smile stretched wider across his face.

His squinted eyes turned to the lieutenant of the fifth division. Momo almost squeaked in fear.

"I got the perfect story."

Aizen sighed warily somehow knowing where this was going.

"My story will be Lil Red Ridin' Hood," His eyes still on the frightened girl. "If Rukia-chan was here I'd let her play the lead, but you're gonna have to do, Momo-chan~"

Her fingers were wrapped tightly in her captain's coat. Almost pulling it off the man. Her brown eyes wide and a little bit fearful. "Me?"

"Ya, ya, It'll be fun."

"Very well, Captain Ichimaru. Please begin." Yamamoto insisted

"Course, course." Ichimaru's gaze now back to the captain's at the table.

A/N

Sorry, Ali Baba not one of my favs. I know it's not very good. Next one should be. After all its the one that that inspired all of this. Thanks to all the readers and reviewers this story is doing so well. I'm shocked really. Big hugs for all of you!


	4. Lil' Red Riden' Hood

Chapter 4 Lil' Red Riden' Hood

Gin licked his lips preparing for the story he as about to tell. Hinamori's fingers were tight in Aizen's captain's coat, it was basically off of his shoulders. He sighed shooting Gin an annoyed look.

The fox like man only grinned happily preparing for his story.

"Once upon a time," he began his smile as wide as ever mush to the worry of everyone else in the room.

The young brunette walked down the a path through the woods. A basket in her grasp full of delicious food. She hummed softly to herself. Almost skipping through the forest.

Of course her delicious smelling food had caught the attention of a hungry fox. He watched her with scarlet eyes for a bit before slinking out of the woods to speak with her.

"'Ello young lady," He was a silver fox, rather larger then normal. His large bushy tail brushed her leg as walked around her.

She gasped in surprise at the fox backing away from him.

"No need to be scarred little girl," he grinned at her showing all his pointy fangs. "Where is a young supple girl like you going off to, with a basket of such good food. His tongue ran along his teeth as he looked her over.

She hesitated adjusting her red coat. "I am off to visit my friend Shiro. His home is at the end of the forest path. He isn't feeling well so I made a lunch for him,"

"My, my… how kind of ya," he circled her once more. "But ya know what would be even kinder?"

She shook her head a little curious.

"If ya go pick some flowers for em. Flowers always light up a room,"

She beamed down at the fox at her feet. "Thank you, that's a wonderful idea!" With that she strayed off the path into the woods to go pick some flowers for her sick friend.

The fox smiled a fox like grin and darted down the forest path to the home of the sick friend. He slipped into the home seeing a young boy with white spiky hair laying in the bed.

With out a second thought he gobbled the young boy up. He licked his lips still hungry and sick little kids were not very filling. An idea came to the fox though. He slipped into the boy's clothes putting a cloth over his head and wrapping up in a blanket to disguise himself a bit better. And he would wait for the silly girl to come back.

Eventually the girl did knocking on the door and then entering. "Hello Shiro~" she said happily her arms full of bright yellow flowers.

She set the flowers down on a table looking at the fox in disguise suspiciously. She bit her lip.

"Shiro-chan, what big hands you have," she looked at her own in comparison.

The fox looked at his paws for a moment. "All the better to give you a hug, my dear friend,"

The girl flushed a bit, "I see, but, what big ears you have," she pointed to the fox's pointed ears sticking out from under the towel over his head.

The fox only grinned at her. "Why all the better to hear you with, my dear friend."

The girl nodded. "But Shiro-chan what big teeth you have,"

The fox's grin stretched across his face. "All the better to eat you with, my dear friend!" And with that he opened his jaws to gobble up the young girl.

"Stop fiend!" a deep voice called out, busting the door down. It was the huntsmen, Aizen Sosuke. His glasses flashed in the dim light of the room, but he was fearless as he waved his blade at the fox.

The fox was also fearless and did not fear this man. He dodged the blade with ease and pounced the huntsmen his jaws wide and gobbled him up too.

The girl in the red coat shrieked in fear at seeing this and tried to run from the fox but it was no use. With one pounce he caught her and gobbled her up too.

Very full he took basket of goods in his jaws and left the house. Content with the meal he had won today.

There was an uneasy silence following Gin's story.

Hinamori had stripped Aizen of his captain's coat and had it wrapped tightly around herself. Aizen adjusted his glasses knowing this tea party couldn't end soon enough.

"Ichimaru," He said calmly, dark brown eyes showing an unusual coldness in them. "I believe in the correct version of that story, the huntsmen kills the, wolf, or in this case the fox,"

Gin just shrugged at the fifth captain's words. "I like my version better,"

Kira nodded. "It was very good sir."

Gin smiled happily back at his lieutenant. "Thank ya Izuru,"

Matsumoto shook her head, simply wanting this to end. And Kenpachi and Myauri exchanged looks of utter bordum hoping everyone passed out from the sheer dullness of all of this so they wouldn't have to take a turn.

The head captain cleared his throat. "Captain Unoaha,"

She smiled kindly at all of them, clearly a story already in mind. "my story will be of Cinderella, but instead I will base it off my lietenuiant Isane,"

The silver haired girl behind Unohana sputtered in disbelief. "Captain," she almost whined.

Unohana only smiled kindly at all of them. "I shall begin when you are all ready."


End file.
